Have you ever had a secret crush on anyone?

I thought i was misunderstanding something. Why would a rich and topper girl have a crush on me? So I just sent her friend request again. She did not accept my request again but she continue to flirt. At one point i thought i was misinterpreting her signs. And I don’t want to be labelled as creep or harasser. After few days i noticed that every time she tries to come closer to me or talk to me, her friends interfere between us. All this continues and then comes february. It was propose day. As soon as she entered the class she made eye contact with me. That eye contact was pretty long more than 10 seconds without blinking. I cannot move my eyes from her. That day i realised that all this was for me. And I fall in love with her.

I passed my 12th grade from a govt. boys school. So my interaction with girls was almost zero. After passing my 12th, I decided to go for NEET preparation. So, I joined Narayana coaching for preparation. I am not that good in academics, so i joined early to get more time for preparation.

At last, Please don’t judge me. I have just written my heart here.

Hello,hope y'all doin good, i came to Quora to share my strange story , a very weird one , a story when luck smiled at me ,maybe u will enjoy it , let's begin,have fun... A year ago ,I was a real porn addicted(btw I was 18) ,but never had sex before, I don't have a gf I didn't try to find one even ,always thinking to go to find a sex worker but then I just don't , everyday watching different bodies getting fucked and everyday enjoying. One day, I was watching porn, a big ass lady with big boobs ,just after seeing her the image of my female cousin poped in my mind, (let's introduce her : she's 35 years old , very big ass , nice boobs ,not very big but nice,always wearing tight clothes , she's divorced ) and I thought of me fucking her ,I never had sexual desires for her but now I do days went by and when I met her I was so horny ,I couldn't stay with the family cz my penis was clearly erected , I realized this is my first time I get horny for one of my family ,it not illegal in my country.well to make a long story short( if u want details just text me I will tell u 😊),I decided to give her signs that I want to fuck her,finally I decided to have sex and with my cousin , I thought it is the best beggining for me, i started touching her when I came across her in a narrow place , make her feel my hard cock when we hug , I thought it will hard and I will be ashamed but no , I felt nothing and she said nothing , probably she thought it was by mistake,anyways, I decided then to talk with her about sex, waited for her to be alone in a room and talk with her, I confessed everything about me watching porn and addicted..etc,she said it's normal and u are growing up and u must have sex,well at that time I was like whaaat????? Well I didn't control myself and asked her for sex ( horny like I Ve never been before) she said that she will think Abt it ,2 weeka went by then she called me ,telling that she reserved a room in a hotel and we meet tonight ,we met,and bruuhh, sex is great , I mean, I had to find a pirstitue ,what I was waiting for to have such a feeling ????, I will never forget that night, I started kissing her she was kissing hard ,she misses sex so bad , she sucked my dick and swallowed my semen ,I felt I'm in a dream , then when fucked ,her ass was very big and the anus was open ,didn't struggle to get my hard cock inside it , she was obviously missing sex , she was shouting ,fuck me yh fuck me , I go fast after every word until I cum , we did that 3 times , then we went to her pussy , using condoms I fucked her so hard the moans were higher , everything was perfect ,in the end I asked her to lick her body , licked pussy ,ass, boobs,then she sucked my cock until we sleeped ,all I know that she was dirty ,well before even having sex with her I knew she is an open minded woman , and a woman that looks that she donesnt know anything , but she knows everything, but never expected having sex with her ,well she was horny and that helped...but no one of us regretted that sex ever.. We still have sex from time to time ,and I started having sex with sex workers , joining threesomes..etc If u want pics of her text me.

I don’t know how to respond or react. I tried to send her a message that I like her through one of her friend. But next day her friend told me that she is not interested me, she already had a boyfriend and she will complain to the teacher. This breaks my heart. Now I know that the friend actually didn’t sent the message and just tried to create misunderstanding between us due to jealousy.

Today After 15 years, i am in my 30’s. I dated a few girls after her but no girl come closer to her even 50%. My parents are forcing me to marry but i can’t tell them the reason. I just want a closure from her.

In the last month I thought that coaching will be closed so that is why I want to stay in touch with everyone. So i sent friend request to all my classmates including X. When i checked after few days, everyone had accepted my friend request except her. I thought that maybe she might be feeling awkward because we don’t talk. That’s why I cancelled the friend request because I didn’t want any scene to be created during exam time. Next day she comes to me and asks me to sit on the seat next to me. I thought she is making fun of me because i sent her friend request and then cancelled it.

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For the next few months she continued flirting with me in different ways. Like laughing at my stupid jokes, passing comments behind my back so that i can hear it and do something. If any boy in class talked to her, she would avoid him so that i don’t feel jealous. She comes to my center for test even if she can give her test at center near to her house. In the middle of the class she kept looking back at me.

Now the coaching has been closed. But i was not able to bear that heartbreak. I did not want to disturb her till the exams. After the exams were over, I contacted her again on facebook so that we can be just friends. But she blocked me and i still don’t know the reason. Maybe she didn’t recognize my ID. Or may be she just lost the attraction for me because i am below her league. Or may be just because i am a muslim and she is a hindu. I don’t know the reason still.

Yes, I have a crush on a girl during my neet preparation days. Before starting my story i want to tell you please don’t judge me. I am writing my heart out here.

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After 3 months, a girl joined my batch. Let’s call her X. She was already a student of this coaching. Then it is revealed that she has already been selected in medical. But for better college she was preparing again. She was topper in her school. She studied from one of the prestigious school. After hearing all this about her, I was impressed. But also all this made me to avoid talking to her.